My Kid Hates School But You Can Help

One social share can immediately impact change. “My kid hates school,” I shared on Twitter and Facebook, and suddenly I had support from people around the world.

Here’s what happened. I tweeted this then shared it on Facebook.

A model student his whole life, my son, a freshman, suddenly hates school.

He says the teachers are boring and most of the subject matter he will “never use in real life.”

This is heartbreaking. He has three and a half years left, and I don’t know what to do.

— Mark Barnes💡 (@markbarnes19) February 1, 2018

School must get all kids to comply. School must organize large quantities of children, manage them, sort them, quiet them and control them. For a lot of kids it may not be a big deal. For some, it’s like stealing their soul. — Anonymous

Some weighed in by raging against the machine:

😢helping my 9 yr old grandson w/ his hw. 2 teachers & a para in the clas. No one checks hw. No feedback. He said “Gram, this is so boring & stupid & no one cares about his!” Last night-synonyms antonyms 10 words. 2018 with 1960’s homework. We need to get back to the future!

One regular commenter in this Facebook group had this initial response:

No, you can’t. You can advocate, you can argue, and you can encourage him in a variety of ways. But you can’t change the school or the teachers–it’s not in your power. You can help him to find satisfaction in other ways/venues and maybe within the school or within certain classes. Teach him to hack his own way, eh?

After all of these incredible comments and suggestions, I kept coming back to the previous quote.

And I wonder, is this right? Is school change out of my control? Is it out of our control?

Or, is it possible that we have all the power, and we only have to choose to exercise it?

At the very least, one expert, New York Times bestselling author Jessica Lahey, believes that we need to keep showing the evidence of what’s best for kids to educators. Here’s what the author of Gift of Failure tweeted:

So sorry, Mark. I left a school yesterday with a teacher SERIOUSLY pissed at me for criticizing “teaching” methods that don’t actually teach. Stick to the evidence and keep speaking up for kids and their learning.

— Jessica Lahey (@jesslahey) February 1, 2018

What You Can Do Tomorrow

• Talk about best practices: Create discussions on social channels and at your school about best practices. Ask, “How can we eliminate old school methods and replace them with progressive pedagogy that inspires student engagement?”
• Share stories like this one: Share podcasts, blog posts, and Facebook statuses, in which parents and educators discuss their experiences about kids who hate school and what they’re doing about it.
• Encourage participation: If a kid hates school, encourage her to join a club, go out for a sport, or try out for the play. The more kids participate in things related to school, the more likely they are to start enjoying it.
• Be present: Talk to teachers, school leaders, and parents in your own school district–especially where you kids attend school–about making learning fun. Don’t let them tell you it’s not about the fun; that’s a load of crap and simply not true.

So, what’s my final take on all of this? I’ll continue to advocate for my son, and I’ll continue pushing his teachers–and all educators–to be the absolute best they can be.

With your help, I believe we can make a difference.

More hacky stuff

Find the Facebook discussion here.

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